Sex and Relations

Question box – awareness about vocabulary, norms and values

Published 1/11/2010 | Updated 4/14/2011

The RFSU Question Box offers people of all ages the opportunity to get answers to their questions on sexual matters. Each question is answered personally by a nurse, midwife, psychotherapist or a sexual counsellor.
The RFSU Question box is only available in Swedish, but we have translated a selection of frequently asked questions into English – see Sex FAQ to the left.

Comment | 8 comments

RFSU:s internet based ”question box” was first opened in 1997. Every year we receive thousands of questions from people of all ages. The work method used differs in many ways from traditional information and counseling where the meeting takes place eye-to-eye enabling a dialog. The written word is the tool of communication.


Method development has from the start been an important part of the work. This might, among other issues, concern the language we use and make us become aware of what we express in our answers. Words contain values, and the chosen word in a specific context expresses one’s view regarding a certain issue. We use “penetrative sex” as an example. What are the norms connected to this expression? How are they being reproduced? How does this influence the way sexological problems are described and how we meet different questions concerning sexology?


The work method is yet to be evaluated. Nevertheless we find that it has changed over time due to discussions taken place. One example is that we have decided not to use words that might be seen as excluding or in other ways contradicts our values. This has also changed the answers and advice we give.

Discussion and recommendations

Various norms in society have impact on us all. As a sexual adviser or counselor one also expresses values. The question is what values and why? Discussing questions like this is one way to become aware of what values are being expressed when giving advise.


Showing 1-3 av 8.  Per page 

Seeking Trans-friendly endocrinologist in Norway
I am a crossdreamer living in Norway. I am seeking partial feminization but not SRS. I was taking pueraria mirifica for this purpose for a year and a half and doing nicely with my breasts and buttocks, but Norwegian Customs began enforcing that herb's illegal status around last October. I would like to find an endocrinologist in Norway who is trans-friendly or at least trans-tolerant, but I don't know how to go about it. I'm thinking of using estraderm patches. Please advise.

Said: Ian Elliott 4/10/2017 8:57:55 PM

Circumference Size
Has recent research defined "average" circumference? I read long ago that the average range of circumference size of an erect penis is 9 to 11 c.m., which is clearly smaller than myself. I welcome your comments.

Said: Robert 11/1/2016 9:29:32 AM

Masturbation is good Practice
Because I was lucky enough to find a book written in Denmark at the young age of 14, I realized that masturbation was an excellent method for a boy to learn control. I always tried to take my time before I let myself have an orgasm, and when I started having sex with girls they usually enjoyed my ability to stay inside of them until they were completely satisfied. The fact that I was thicker than average and always got extremely hard, the girls said I felt so good inside of them. However, I made sure that I teased them for as long as they wanted, then lubricated myself, and always offered to use a top-quality condom before entering them. I always tried to use good lubrication to prevent any discomfort for them, and when I was old enough to buy my own lubrication, masturbation became increasingly pleasurable. There are some excellent "new" lubricants available in the U.S., and it would have bben nice were they available when I was a teen. At the age of 72, the only complaint I often get from my 35-year-old wife is that I'm too big, but now we know that "vaginismus" is the problem, and we're finally getting that resolved! I hope these comments are useful to some.

Said: Robert 11/1/2016 9:24:20 AM


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