Sex and Relations

Am I bisexual?

Published 1/10/2010 | Updated 1/10/2010

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I’ve always been sure that I am hetero. But now at my new job, I’ve met a girl who is absolutely fantastic. I want to be near her all the time and hope that she’ll see me as more than just a friend. She is bisexual, but it doesn’t look like she’s interested in me. I’m wondering whether this is just a phase or whether I am actually bisexual? I’ve always had relationships with boys and never been single very long, so maybe I’ve never had time to think about it. I have always fantasised about girls, but I’ve still never thought about them in that way. How can I know whether I am really in love or whether I just like her as a friend. Should I say anything to her about how I feel? I feel really confused.

Plenty of people don’t spend much time thinking about what they are. The usual assumption is that you are heterosexual, because that’s the norm in our society. It may only be when you experience something different and also allow yourself to feel those feelings that these questions arise.

Most people have one thing in common – the ability to love and become attracted to other people. For some, the sex of these people matters, but for others there are other more important issues. Follow your feelings and do what feels good. From your description, it sounds as if you are in love with the girl at your work. You might then feel better if you tell her how you feel. If you socialise outside work, there might be a moment together where it feels right to talk about the two of you. Otherwise, you may have to take the initiative to make sure that the two of you do something together and create the right moment.

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