Sex and Relations

I come too soon, help me!

Published 1/10/2010 | Updated 1/10/2010

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I come too soon, usually after just a few minutes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend. Do you have any tips to help me last longer? It’s always me who climaxes first.

One way is to try gaining better control of your body and what happens. The easiest thing is to practice this while masturbating. Try stopping just before you ejaculate and waiting until the feeling has passed. Eventually, this can give you an idea of how your body works and when you are approaching orgasm/ejaculation. Secondly, it can help to be more passive during sex and let your partner decide what happens. You can also try completely focusing on your partner and her pleasure and let her have an orgasm before you both focus more on you.

Another option is to vary or change technique – i.e. the way you have sex. If you feel that a particular technique makes you ejaculate quickly, try other techniques instead or take things more slowly for a moment if your arousal becomes too strong. You can also try using a condom, as it reduces the sensitivity a little and often allows people to last a little longer. Alternatively, try masturbating before you have sex with your girlfriend, as the second ejaculation usually takes more time. These are a few tips that you can try, but also try not to make too much of this problem. Just enjoy sex together in ways that suit you both.

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