Sex and Relations

I’m treaded unfairly by my partner, what should I do?

Published 1/10/2010 | Updated 1/10/2010

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My partner and I have been together for nine years and we have a child together. We have a major problem. I think he treats me unfairly. He thinks it’s OK for him to e-mail and chat with girls on the net, but I can’t have any contact even with the guys I work with. He gets to go out on his own with his friends, but not me, and I’m starting to get fed up with it! I want us to be together, but not like this. I feel really unhappy and I don’t know what to do.

I understand that you feel unhappy and are starting to get fed up. It’s clear that he is unfair to you. It feels as if you’ve discussed things and it seems that he thinks it’s OK for you both to have different conditions and rules and that they should be in his favour. He doesn’t respect your wishes or your opinions. Have you tried to get help from outside or do you have people close to you who you could talk to and be supported by? It’s usually good to get help from someone to sort out your thoughts and get more of an outsider’s perspective on the situation. You write that you feel really unhappy and perhaps you should talk to a professional and have the chance to think about whether, deep down, you really want to stay in this relationship. Every municipality has relationship counsellors who you can contact as an individual or as couple.

Breaking up can be dramatic and stressful, but it can also be liberating. In the end, it’s up to you whether you make that choice.

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